


Cantolope's Birthday Extravaganza

by Grumpy Gamers and Vibrant Colors (CantolopeJeevas)



Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom
Genre: AU, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Multi, Polyamory, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-07-28 20:39:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 7,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7655884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CantolopeJeevas/pseuds/Grumpy%20Gamers%20and%20Vibrant%20Colors
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On my birthday I asked my Tumblr followers to give me prompts for ficlets. Here are the results!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Brian is Overprotective of Dan and Arin

It was supposed to be a simple night-time stroll through the park. At least, that’s what Brian was told. When he made his complaints- saying that he was too old for adventures under the starlight- both Arin and Dan shushed him with a promise of a good time.

The air was just cold enough to nip at them and send goosebumps along exposed skin. Arin shivered and pressed himself more into Brian’s side. “Jeez,” he mumbled, chattering his teeth for exaggeration, “it’s fucking freezing.”

Dan nodded his head in silent agreement, then suddenly pointed to a branching off path, where a stand advertizing hot-chocolate was. “Brian, look!”

Of course, Brian looked. And of course, he immediately got the hint. It was quite far off, way out of their planned route. But he couldn’t say no.

“Alright, fine. I’ll get you two some drinks.” He cocked his head toward a nearby bench. “Wait there. I’ll be back in a second.”

Purchasing said hot chocolate was quick and painless. Clearly the poor sap at the stand wanted to be there about as much as Brian. As he took the drinks, he squinted at where Dan and Arin were supposed to be. Were they making out in public again?

No. More than just two silhouettes. Something was wrong.

Brian hurried, step by step, too slow, way to slow. Then he heard the conversation.

“Whatsa matter, twiggy?” a low voice drawled. “Don’t like us gettin’ all up on your girl?”

“Fuck off,” Dan said with a harsh bite.

“Dan, stop,” Arin warned, one hand on Dan’s shoulder to hold him back.

“Eh, I think Q-tip’s asking for a beating,” another voice said.

“Excuse me!” Brian called out, jogging the last few steps to them. The ruffians stood between him and Dan, while Dan himself acted as a barrier between them and Arin. “If you two don’t mind, both my husbands and I were enjoying a nice evening with each other until you came along.”

“Husbands?”

“ _Both_ of them?”

“Yes,” Brian said slowly, as if talking to a small child. “I’m very proud of you both for understanding something so simple. Now kindly do as you were told, and fuck off.”

There was no warning to the fist coming for his head, but he ducked under it just in time. Then he bit off the lid to one of the hot chocolates and let the scalding liquid fly.

A guttural howl tore from the ruffian’s throat, followed by a cry of, “Shit, this guy’s insane!”

They quickly ran off with their tails between their legs, leaving Brian alone with a wide-eyed Arin and a flustered Dan. After getting them both calmed down with light kisses and soothing words, he took them right home and decided to make a new rule for future excursions.

 _Always_ bring hot chocolate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by lygerzero14: "hapz bdayz!! how about some polybomb. i love protective Brian. some creeps roughing up Arin and Dan and Brian comes to the rescue"


	2. In Which Green Jack Steals Dan's Cereal

Jack had to use all his willpower not to fanboy all over the place. There he was, in the Grumps Space, the fucking _Grump Space_ , ready to record some videos with the coolest people he knew of. Arin and Barry were getting things set up, so Jack was left all alone to consider just how lucky he was.

And also how _hungry_ he was. It hit him like a bullet, the intense feeling of his stomach growling in protest. Damn it, when was the last time he ate?

He snuck a glance around. No one was there. Maybe he could have a little snack?

Carefully he tip-toed to the kitchen, intense stealth music playing in his head all the while. Then his eyes made contact with the most delicious thing in sight: a box of Cookie Crisps. Without further delay he grabbed it and began stuffing his mouth with the sugary, and no doubt unhealthy, cereal.

“You should probably ask before you stuff your face with someone else’s food.”

Jack froze. Then, every so slowly, he turned around to come face-to-face with Dan and his stuffed pikachu. His heart jumped up to his throat. “Uh…”

“Dude, swallow before you talk.” Dan melodramatically placed a hand over his heart. “It wounds me to see all the deliciousness I lost to the Green Beast.”

“It’s not totally lost,” Jack said, barely able to understand himself. But that wasn’t going to stop him from subtly flirting in his unique way. “Want a taste?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows with a cheeky grin.

The look on Dan’s face went from playful to seductive in a split-second flat. Jack swallowed thickly. Holy shit, he was fucked. This whole celebrity crush thing he had on Dan was getting out of hand. It had been just joking up to that point- he never thought that Dan actually _knew_.

Dan tossed the pikachu onto the counter and sauntered closer. One hand snaked up to grab Jack’s chin while the other held him in place at the hip. "Sure do, clover.”

Next thing Jack knew, they were kissing. It was open-mouthed, sloppy. desperate, full of Dan’s tongue exploring his mouth savoring the sweetness there. Jack nearly dropped the box of cereal, head swimming with a rush of hormones. No wonder Dan was popular with the ladies.

It was over too soon, broken by the call of Jack’s name. While Jack was panting, trying to regain solid ground, Dan merely winked and said, “You can use Pikachu for a bit. He won’t mind.”

Then he was gone.

Jack wondered what he meant, then realized that he had a _raging_ boner. He quickly grabbed the Pikachu just before Barry got there and used it as cover.

With a raised eyebrow, Barry asked, “Um, what the heck are you doing?”

He really must’ve looked weird. Cookie Crisps in one hand, a pikachu at crotch-level in the other. Well, nothing left to do but go all the way.

“Pika-pi!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by a Dear Anon: "Septicbang? Doesn't matter prompt, can be nsfw but doesn't have to be"


	3. In Which Danny Sexbang Breaks Ninja Brian

Danny wasn’t much of a thinker, even he’d admit that. Why think when you can just do? But sometimes it was a requirement. Not every problem could be solved with action, explosions, and sex.

Like the issue he was facing at the very moment. For whatever reason, he’d been feeling strange around Ninja Brian. Not the usual combination of friendship and slight fear. But something else too. A heart pounding, stomach fluttering, warm feeling that he’d felt before. But it couldn’t possibly be _that_.

Okay, he just had to think back. When did it first start?

Well, maybe it was during one of their fights with Samurai Abstinence Patrol. Danny had been a bit distracted trying to woo the ladies watching, blind to that asshat Neverbone swooping in for the kill.

Ninja Brian didn’t allow that. All it took was a single, poison-laced shuriken to the forehead, and Neverbone collapsed to the ground.

“Thanks!” Danny had said with a grin when he finally realized what had happened. But really, he was dying inside. The ladies weren’t given the light of day anymore, all he could see was Ninja Brian. Bloodthirsty, mysterious, intriguing. Every movement of his was calculated, hiding raw power behind his black ninja garb.

Since then, Danny hadn’t been able to get him out of his head. How did Ninja Brian become so awesome? What did he look like under his mask? Was it possible that he felt the same way?

_Woah, there._ That crazy train was being put to a stop. There was no way he could feel the same, because there weren’t any feelings to begin with! None at all. And Danny would prove it.

“Ninja Brian!”

As usual, Ninja Brian appeared at his side, glaring at him with those intense eyes of his. Danny found them both creepy and- Nope. He wasn’t going to get into it.

“There’s something that I need to do, and you have to promise that you won’t kill me for it.”

If anything, Ninja Brian only seemed to glare _more_. Not a good start, but at least it wasn’t an immediate knife to the stomach.

Danny closed the space between them and placed his hands on Ninja Brian’s shoulders. Then, before he could be killed or maimed, he lifted up the bottom of the mask just enough to give Ninja Brian a quick peck on the lips. Really, it was the most chaste kiss he’d ever had.

That didn’t stop his gut from wrenching, or his palms from getting bit sweaty. Holy shit, he _did_ have feelings for him.

Unfortunately, Ninja Brian appeared to be frozen. Eyes wide, body stiff. Very unusual.

“Um.” Danny waved a hand in front of his face, then snapped a couple times. “Hello?”

No response. After pulling the mask back down, Danny gave him a couple pats on the cheek and went on his merry way. Better to not think about the future consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by mysticcherryblossomuniverse: "um it said we could send a prompt um how about if you know what it is chrysal grumps dan kissing brian for the first time and brian is just like wut? either that or just the same thing but nsp"


	4. In Which Dan Moves In with Ross and Holly

It was the day that Dan had been both dreading and looking forward to for almost a year. The sun shone down, the breeze tousled his hair playfully. All was good.

Now if only he could just stay right there and not cross the threshold into his new home. Because that was scary. That was _commitment_. And also, there were birds there. Lots and lots of beady-eyed birds that liked to nip at his fingers and squawk at him.

Two hands pushed against his back, forcing him forward. “C’mon, Dan!” Ross yelled, “You already said you’d move in with us! No taking it back!”

“But,” Dan tried arguing, digging his heels into the ground, “what if it’s not the right time? Barry still has the apartment, I can just-”

“Don’t go thinking like that!” Holly chimed in, taking Dan by the hands and pulling him forward. “A promise is a promise! Besides, you’ll love it here. Our home has always been your home.”

Dan sighed deeply and let them lead him like a horse to water. “I know. I’m just not so sure your little roommates will appreciate some giant taking over their space.”

“They’ll love you,” Holly assured with a gentle squeeze of his hands. “They’ve just got to take time getting used to you.”

Dan felt a chill run down his spine. Something bad was going to happen.

Ross decided then and there to say, “I think we should throw him in the coop. That’ll make the pigeons get used to him.”

There was a laugh following that, and Dan almost flipped him off. But Holly was there. He made a mental note to mess with Ross later. Someone was going to get a visit from the tickle monster.

Dan muttered under his breath, “I think it’d sooner get my eyes pecked out by flying rats.”

Holly gasped. “They’re not rats!”

“Sorry,” Dan quickly amended, “little flying bundles of feathers. Better?”

“Yes. But I think I’m going to bring out one of the _little bundles_.”

“That’s not something I want,” Dan said. Then he realized they were inside, and that Holly had already taken off. “Damn it.”

“Language, Dan,” Ross teased. “You don’t want the birds to sense your fear and tear you to pieces.”

“First off,” Dan said, holding up a finger, “ _bird_. Only one. Second off, shut up!”

“Why don’t you make me?”

“Oh,” Holly’s bird-voice rang out, “sounds like my husbands are having an argument.”

Dan froze. Every bone in his body told him to run far, far away. But he kept still. And when Holly gestured for him to cup his hands, he did. And he didn’t even scream when the pigeon was dropped right into them.

It stared at him, cocking its head from left to right. Then it cooed and seemed to settle.

“Uh, is that good?” Dan whispered, afraid of startling it.

“Very good,” Holly answered happily.

“We’re proud of you,” Ross added.

Dan smiled. Maybe things would actually be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by confused-snail: "Happy happy birthday! I hope your day is as lovely as your are (and that's VERY lovely). If I could make a fic request, I've recently been super into RubberCommanderBang but no one posts anything for it, so if you could just write a lil something fluffy, that'd send me over the moon <3"


	5. In Which Mark Almost Ruins the Breakfast Dan and Arin Made For Him

Mark didn’t understand what the big deal was. Dan had called him that morning, saying that both he and Arin were inviting themselves over to make eggs. And sure enough, they walked in not even five minutes later, carrying several large grocery bags overflowing with breakfast food. They promptly took over his kitchen, not having the decency to give him a good morning kiss.

“Any particular reason why you two are acting so weird?” he asked, leaning against the counter and watching them chatter about what they were planning. “You could’ve at least waited. I’m not even dressed yet!”

“Dude, this is an emergency,” Arin said as he rummaged through the cupboards. With an _aha_ he pulled out a skillet and brandished it like a trophy.

“An _egg_ -mergency, you could say,” Dan added. He got all the food out of the bags while Arin looked for more cookware.

Mark groaned loudly. “I’m not awake enough for this bullshit.”

Arin rolled his eyes. “You’ll be awake after you try some of this deliciousness I’m about to cook up.”

“Really?” Mark made sure there was extra incredulity in his voice. There couldn’t be anything special about _eggs_.

Dan began to play with the red floof of his hair, fingers lightly raking through the strands and massaging his scalp. “Really, man. I spent years not knowing about his mad cooking skills, and I regret every one of them.”

Soon enough the unmistakeable scent of breakfast wafted through the air. Mark’s stomach growled with the intensity of a pack of wolves.

“Dan!” Arin called out. “Come here, I need your help.”

While they worked, Mark took in the leftover food, all the raw stuff that wasn’t going to be eaten yet. Some potato shreddings, a couple eggs, shredded cheese. He picked up a strand of potato and eyed it. A sly smile spread across his face.

The stovetop had just been turned off when when Mark blindly tossed the potato. It wetly smacked against Arin’s face.

Tense silence took over. Then Arin returned the favor with a piece of pepper that happened to be lying nearby. Only Dan had moved that very moment, nearly hunched over with laughter, and the pepper hit his mouth.

They all looked at each other, challenging someone to do something. In the same instant they grabbed the closest food item and dove for cover. It was _war_.

By the time they were done expending all their childish energy, they were all a mess. Both Dan and Arin got it worse than Mark. Thank goodness for short hair, right?

“Okay,” Arin said, picking at his hair. “Time to eat.”

Mark was presented with the plate of eggs and hashbrowns, accompanied by Dan’s angelic singing and Arin’s announcer voice.

“I present to you… Arin Hanson’s special, cheesey eggs!”

He took one look at their eager faces, then tucked in without hesitation.

It was _delicious_. Like heaven. And the smiles Dan and Arin had on their faces only made it better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by witchymusic: "please hit me with some egobangiplier any scenario i dont care !! i am ready to die there needs to be more egobangiplier in this world"


	6. In Which Green Jack is Chosen by God!Mark

Sean ran as far as his legs and lungs could take him. Soldiers pursued him, shouting orders, threats, and a certain word. _Traitor_. It stabbed him in the heart, but he couldn’t stop. Eventually he happened upon a temple built in the mountainside. With no other options, he ventured inside.

There was nothing inside. No altars, no offerings. Just dust.

“It’s a shame,” he said aloud. “I could really use some divine help right about now.”

Bright golden light filled the room, forcing him to cover his eyes. When it dimmed down, he blinked away the spots in his vision and marvelled at what he saw.

The temple had transformed. There were all sorts of items now, some he couldn’t identify.

“Do you like it?”

Sean yelped and flipped around, falling onto his ass and scrambling back. He eyed up the man standing there. Something about him seemed off. Was it was the way Sean felt exposed by his gaze? Like every little secret of his was known?

“Who are you?” he asked carefully, eyes narrowed.

The man smiled warmly. “My name is Mark. I am the God of Emotion.”

It took a minute for that information to process. Sean had never believed in the gods, and now he stood before one? Funny how things worked.

“So,” Sean said, standing to his feet, “that means this is your temple?”

“Yup!” Mark sauntered over and placed his hands on Sean’s shoulders. “And I’m going to make you my Apostle!”

“Er, what?”

“Apostle,” Mark repeated, one hand reaching up to run through Sean’s hair almost lovingly. “My connection to the mortal world, so to speak.”

Sean frowned. He ignored Mark’s weird intimacy to ask, “Why me?”

“You let your emotions be your guide.” Mark brought one of Sean’s hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to it. “And because of it, a family lives to see another day.”

“Because of it” Sean corrected almost bitterly, “I betrayed my kingdom.”

Mark shrugged. “Oh well.”

“Are ya fuckin’ kidding me?” Sean wrenched his hand away from Mark. “I’m homeless, wanted for dead, hated by my people, and all you can say is _oh well_? Fuck you!”

“Calm down,” Mark said softly, hands raised. “Take deep breaths. You can get through this.”

As much as he wanted to fight and curse and scream, he found that he couldn’t. One breath in, one breath out, and he was calm.

“Better now?”

Sean nodded, then went to rub the tears of frustration out of his eyes. But he stopped halfway, fixated by the glyph now on his hand.

“See, that is exactly why I chose you. You’re not afraid of what you feel,” Mark explained, taking Sean’s hand and holding it up. Then he cried out dramatically, “So I dub thee Sean, the Apostle of Morality!”

“Call me Jack,” Sean said after a brief moment. If he was going to start anew with this whole Apostle business, he’d might as well have a fresh name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by threeweekoldcheerios: "Is there any chance u could do a god or myth au of septiplier or danny/arin? I would love u so much bro"


	7. In Which Ninja Brian Gets a Helping Hand from Egoraptor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains explicit NSFW.

Danny had no idea what he was doing to Ninja Brian. And that was the most frustrating part of it all. Not his endless flirtation, but his sheer _stupidity_. How the hell could he not see that Brian wanted him?

“Bro, he’s never gonna get the hint,” Ego said, slinking up to him and putting an arm around his shoulder. “You’ve gotta be frustrated.” Then Ego pressed his mouth to Brian’s ear and almost purred seductively.

“Want me to help you with that?”

It didn’t take long for them to reach Ego’s dressing room. All the way there they pawed at each other, groping and running hands along skin to rile each other up. It was primal, raw, perfectly in Brian’s element. When the door closed, Brian lifted up his mask and pinned Ego against the wall.

“Oh, am I special, Brian?” Ego asked, smirking at him and running his hand along Brian’s jaw. “I bet not a lot of people have seen this handsome face.”

Brian only glared at him for a moment, then attacked his neck with his mouth. Sharp teeth turned pale skin purple and red- fitting colors. Ego moaned wantonly, fingers sliding under the back of Brian’s mask and through his hair, encouraging him.

“Holy shit,” Ego groaned, “you sure know how to rough a guy up. Everyone’s gonna know that we fucked.”

There had to be a way to shut him up. Brian ground their hips together and bit back his own noises.

Unfortunately, it didn’t work as expected.

“Let’s skip the foreplay.” Ego pushed him away began to undress. “I want you to fuck me _now_.”

Did he really think he could call the shots? Ego hadn’t even gotten his pants all the way off before Brian dragged him over to the vanity. Surprisingly, he bent to Brian’s will, eagerly presenting himself over the table.

“Fucking perv, you want to see it all, don’t you?”

Brian shoved his fingers in Ego’s mouth. Not only would it shut him up, but he’d get the hint to slick them up with his spit in lieu of lube. While that went on, Brian freed his own cock from his ninja pants and slowly jerked himself off.

When his fingers felt wet enough, he pulled them from Ego’s mouth and moved them down to his ass. With one finger he tested Ego. At the moan of approval that spilled from his lips he dove in, relishing the prelude to what was coming soon.

“Just fuck me!” Ego demanded harshly.

Brian rolled his eyes, but obeyed anyway. Then he went in, groaning at the tightness of Ego’s heat around his cock. He was merciless, pounding into Ego with reckless abandon. If only it was Danny bent over in front of him, begging for more as he was fucked for once in his life.

They both came quickly, riding out their orgasms until silence pervaded the room. Brian felt both satisfied and not.

“Fuck,” Ego breathed out, “that was awesome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by a Dear Anon: "In-Universe NSP Ninja Brian getting sexually frustrated with Danny's exploits and taking it out on Ego"


	8. In Which Arin Tries to Impress Dan

****Arin had told himself that he wouldn’t fall into the Pokemon Go craze. Over and over he would say, “I’ll be too busy for it!” And he was so sure that he would have the self-control to stay away.

Until Dan made a comment one day saying, “Dude, I think the very idea of Pokemon Go is fucking mind-blowing.”

From that moment onward Arin obsessed over it. It was on his phone at the first opportunity, and he had only stopped playing it when work-related things came up. He levelled up as fast as he could, joined a team, evolved powerful pokemon, all so he could hear praise from Dan.

The moment came when they were walking through town, window shopping and marvelling at the neat items they wanted to get. While Dan looked at some clothes, Arin opened up the game and checked the list of pokemon nearby.

There was a rapidash.

He took off with an excited shout, ignoring Dan’s startled cry. It was so close, he just had to find where it was and catch it.

His phone vibrated and he nearly dropped it. But when he saw the elegant rapidash on his screen, he let out a cheer and pressed his thumb to the screen.

“Dude,” Dan said when he finally catched up, “what the hell was that all about?”

Arin worried his lip with his teeth. The rapidash stood right beside Dan. He snapped a quick picture, then tossed a pokeball at the rapidash. It missed.

“Fucking hell,” he muttered, throwing another pokeball. Hopefully it would stick, even with the high CP.

Dan raised an eyebrow at him. “Um, you okay, man? Are you playing Pokemon?”

The pokeball hit. With bated breath Arin watched. One wiggle. Two. Would there be a third?

Nope. The pokeball broke open, setting the rapidash free to run off. Only a puff of smoke and Arin’s tangible disappointment remained.

“I was so fucking close…”

“It’s okay,” Dan soothed him. “I’m sure it was something dumb anyway.”

Arin sighed. “It wasn’t, though. It was a rapidash. I was gonna catch it and name it ‘Unicorn’ or something. Whatever you would want it’s name to be.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Dan said. “Really.”

“But I do, Dan!” Arin stuffed his phone into his pockets and crossed his arms. “I’m only playing this stupid game to impress you.”

Dan blinked owlishly. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” Arin began to count off on his fingers, “I have all your available favorites, I joined the blue team, I named my girl ‘BigCat6969’.” He sighed and slumped his shoulders. “You said the game was cool. I thought you’d think I was cool if I was super awesome at it.”

“Hey,” Dan lifted Arin’s chin up. “You’re already cool.” He pressed a kiss to Arin’s forehead and added sweetly, “My super rad pokemon master.”

Arin couldn’t help but smile. Dan always had a way of cheering him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by koalizama: "Happy Birthday, friend!!!!! I hope it's going awesome! :3 Would you wanna write a little fluffy egobang?"


	9. In Which Ross Comforts Barry

Ross worried about Barry. Lately it seemed like his mood would easily take a dive. One moment he’d be smiling, happy as can be, the next he’d just mope quietly. Well, Ross was going to get to the bottom of it.

And he had the perfect plan.

He waited until one of those nights where Barry was particularly lacklustre. Then, without warning, he glued himself to Barry’s side and announced that he was taking him to his house for the night.

Barry only shrugged. No fight, no argument. It only egged Ross on. The more Barry withdrew, the more he’d be likely to _explode_.

Once they got to the house, Ross sat Barry in front of the TV and put a Wii U in his hands. “You’re going to play my Mario Maker levels.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so. Chop-chop!”

With a small sigh, Barry resigned himself to his fate. Over and over he died. But he never complained, or even reacted that much. All he did was stare blankly at the screen.

Ross checked the time. It shouldn’t have been taking this long. He had work to do on Gameoverse. Well, multitasking wouldn’t hurt.

His art pad and pencil were nearby, so he didn’t bother Barry too much when he leaned over and grabbed them. At least, he didn’t think he did.

Barry suddenly paused the game and said, “I want to go home.”

“What?” Ross asked. “You haven’t even beat the level yet!”

“I’m not going to. Take me home, please.”

What the hell got into him? He was just taking everything thrown at him, and now he had complaints?

“No.” Even Ross was shocked by the harsh tone of his own voice. “You’ve been awfully down lately, so you’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“There’s nothing wrong,” Barry denied vehemently. It was the first time Ross saw in fire in his eyes all day.

“Well, if you’re not going to talk right now-” Ross opened the art pad and began a quick doodle- “then I’m just going to keep myself busy until you do.”

Barry placed the Wii U down and sighed. “Fine. I guess I’m just kinda feeling left behind. I dunno.”

Ross was going to ask what he meant, but Barry beat him to the punch and launched himself into a rant.

“Everyone has all sorts of other stuff to do but me! NSP, Starbomb, voice acting…” He looked away and mumbled, “Gameoverse. But what to I have? Only stuff we do on the channel, and maybe some NSP videos.”

_Wow_. That wasn’t what Ross expected. Carefully he set his art pad down and pulled Barry in for a tight hug. “We won’t leave you, you know. _I_ won’t leave you.”

Barry nodded and clung to him. “I know.”

Ross rubbed his back. “Good. Now how about some dinner? Spaghetti sound good?”

“Yeah. But can we eat later? I’m comfy.”

Ross smiled to himself. Mission success.

“Sure thing, Bear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by froggiekirby10: "How about some Rubberdoop? Absolutely anything is perfect. Maybe some small angst into teeth rotting fluff."


	10. In Which Dan Appreciates Brian

Dan and Brian made their way backstage after their concert, excitedly chattering with TWRP about plans for the next show. Electricity filled the air, dancing along Dan’s nerves. It was one of those moments that made him feel _fulfilled_.

Splitting off from the group, he made his way to the dressing for a moment to unwind. The crowd stood before him in his mind’s eye, cheering nonstop. For him. For Brian.

“Holy shit,” he breathed out, plopping down onto a cushy chair. Like a tidal wave, the realization of his success hit him. Years ago he wouldn’t have even dreamed all this. Not the fans, not the band, and certainly not-

“Danny, there you are,” Brian said, barging into the room and interrupting Dan’s line of thought.

“Jesus, Brian!” Dan pressed a hand against his chest to calm his racing heart. “You can never let me have a moment to think, can you?”

Brian grinned. “Nope.”

“That’s fuckin’ bullshit,” Dan muttered under his breath. If he had the energy to flip Brian off, he would.

“But you love me,” came the smug reply. To emphasize his point, Brian ruffled Dan’s mess of curls, unhindered by their height difference.

Dan rolled his eyes. “Do I really?”

“In the new chapter of _The Beej_ you do.”

Oh, great. Brian brought _that_ up again. “Look, don’t you think it’s time to end it?” he asked, almost pleaded. “There’s no need to keep creeping me out with your weird porn.”

“It’s called erotica,” Brian corrected snootily, “I’ll thank you to remember that.”

“And _I’ll_ thank you to remember that it’s unsettling.”

Brian let out a bark of laughter, and Dan found that he couldn’t keep up his annoyed charade. Without Brian in his life, he’d have no idea where he would be. Probably still in Jersey. Sad, lonely.

“Hey!” Brian leaned down, pressing his forehead against Dan’s. “Stop that. I want all your attention right now.”

“Chill, man. I was thinking about _you_.”

“Really?” Dan didn’t like the teasing lilt of his voice. “Was my sexy widdle baby having naughty fantasies?”

Instead of playing into his hands like usual, Dan gave a serious answer. “No. I was thinking about how I wouldn’t be as happy as I am if you weren’t around.”

That rush of pink to Brian’s cheeks was immensely satisfying. “I don’t think that’s true,” he mumbled, pulling away.

“But NSP wouldn’t exist without you. It’d just be me singing a capella about dicks all the time.” Dan stretched out and let his thought tumble out of his mouth. “You and me, we’re in this together. Just think about it. We made four albums, a shit-ton of videos, and we have too many fans to count.”

“You’re right.” Brian sounded like he was in awe. Then his tone switched from humbled to his standard arrogant in a second flat. “We, Dan? Don’t you mean _me_?”

Like he needed a bigger ego. Still, Dan wouldn’t change him for anything in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by a Dear Anon: "Hope I'm not too late, but how about a ficlet of Ninjabang on tour?"


	11. In Which Holly Settles an Argument Between Arin and Dan

Holly always enjoyed spending time with Dan and Arin. One of her favorite little dates they had was Pajama Night, where they would have a sleepover in one of their living rooms and just watch movies all night long.

Several weeks had passed since their last Pajama Night, and it was Holly’s turn to host. While they waited in the living room, she went about the kitchen and prepared snacks. Popcorn, chips and dip, all that good stuff.

She carried bowls back and forth, unaware of the whispered argument going on. After her final trip, she finally heard them.

“Dude, she got to sit on your lap last time!” Arin hissed.

“You don’t know that,” Dan countered. “I don’t even remember what movie we watched last time.”

“I don’t know either. Some sci-fi thing, I think. Holly picked it.”

“Okay,” Dan said, “but Holly’s still sitting on _my_ lap.”

Arin stuck his tongue out at Dan. “Is not.”

“Is too!” Dan singsonged.

“Boys, boys!” Holly said, calling attention to herself. “Don’t you think this is a bit immature? You’re both grown men, for goodness sake.”

They stared at her with wide eyes, then simultaneously pointed to each other and yelled, “He started it!”

Holly took a deep breath. “Well,” she said, sounding like a stern teacher, “you two need to stop arguing, or I won’t sit on either of your laps. You wouldn’t like that, would you?”

“No,” Arin mumbled while Dan silently shook his head. Both of them avoided eye contact with her.

Really, it was silly how childish they acted sometimes. But Holly still loved them. How could she not?

“See? Now can you guys stop arguing and start getting along?” For extra effect, she gave them her best puppy dog look. “Please? For me?”

The immediately got up and swarmed her, apologizing profusely while showering her- and each other- with kisses. See, that was why she couldn’t stay mad at them. They were her lovable, goofy boyfriends.

“Now sit back down,” Holly ordered sweetly when they were done. “I’ve got an idea.”

They did as told, but it still wasn’t what she needed. “Closer,” she said, linking her fingers together. “I want you leg to leg!”

With questioning looks they fixed their positions. Then Holly grabbed the bowl of popcorn and plopped down right where their thighs touched.

“Now I’m sitting on both your laps!” she cheered. “So no more arguing!”

“Uh…” Dan tried shifting to get a bit more comfortable, nearly sending Holly over Arin’s lap.

After everyone got settled, the official date began.

But Arin and Dan must’ve had a long day, because when Holly turned around to check on them halfway through the movie, they were both dead asleep, heads lolled over the back of the couch.

Quietly she got up and grabbed the biggest blanket she could find. Then she took back her position on both of them. With a warm blanket and her two boyfriends, she too fell into a blissful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by a Dear Anon: "holly/arin/dan if that's possible?????? with arin and dan arguing over who gets to let holly sit in whose lap¿"


	12. In Which Professor O'Donovan Plays Hard to Get With Professor Wecht

Ross went around the classroom, looking over the shoulders of his students and analyzing their paintings. “Very good. All of you did wonderfully. Now you know what to do. We’ll pick right back up tomorrow.”

As they filed out, he saw a certain intruder peeping in. He pretended not to notice, choosing instead to sit at his desk and look through papers.

“Well, well, Professor O’Donovan.” Brian sauntered in and stood right before him. “What are you up to?”

He didn’t know if he wanted to punch that smirk off Brian’s face or kiss it off. Maybe both.

“Nothing much,” he said, idly doodling on a scrap piece of paper. “I’m trying to grade some papers before the quarter ends. But, you know-” Ross gave him a pointed look- “some things keep getting in the way.”

Brian feigned ignorance. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll just make this quick, then.” He leaned down, bracing himself against the desk. “How about when you’re done, you let me take you out to dinner?”

“Don’t know when I’ll be done,” Ross said honestly, paying more attention to his drawing than Brian. It was turning out pretty well. “Might have to work on them tomorrow some.”

“I can wait.”

“Oh yeah?” Ross tapped his pencil against his lips. “How long?”

“As long as it takes,” Brian answered smoothly. “So is that a yes?”

With a noncommittal shrug, Ross continued his drawing and said, “It’s a maybe.”

There probably wouldn’t be a time he said yes. Their little game of cat and mouse was too fun to play. And if they stopped, if Brian got what he wanted, he’d surely grow bored. So it was better to keep him at arm’s length.

Whatever issues he had with that answer, Brian kept them to himself. “Fine, fine. So how are things?”

“Pretty good, I guess.”

Brian glanced down at the drawing, but Ross quickly covered it with his hand. No way in hell he’d see it. Not only would Ross die of embarrassment, but every piece of his relationship with Brian would crumble and go down the drain.

“Why can’t I see what you’re working on?” Brian asked, one eyebrow quirked up.

“It’s junk. I’m just gonna throw it out anyway.”

Without any warning, he tugged the paper out from under Ross’s hand and held it high into the air.

“Give it back!” Ross shouted, reaching desperately for it. But he was too late.

“Am I wearing a flower crown?” Brian asked, turning the paper every which way. Then he burst into laughter and announced for the world to hear, “You like me!”

Ross had to take a chance. “Yeah,” he admitted, cheeks red. He fell back into his seat and nervously toyed with his pencil. “I do. Just shut up already and ask me out again so I can say yes.”

“Will you have dinner with me?”

A smirk bloomed on Ross’s face. Nothing pleased him more than delaying gratification. “Yeah, when I’m done grading.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by a Dear Anon: "Could you do a RubberJack or a RubberBrian?"


	13. In Which Dan Gets a Massage From Arin

Dan let out a low groan as he stretched upwards, feeling the _pop_ , _pop_ , _pop_ of his spine. It was good, but not good enough, and he just wished he had time to get a massage somewhere.

“Holy shit,” Arin said, wildly swinging the wiimote like a sword. “I think the capture picked that up.”

“No kidding.” Dan rubbed the back of his neck and winced. “My whole steez has been fucked up for a while. But I don’t know what to do, I don’t have time to see anyone for it.”

“I could, uh…” Arin said slowly. His brain was split two ways: playing the game and saying something meaningful to Dan. He could only do one. “Shit! I could give you a massage. Work my hands deep into those muscles.”

“Really?”

“Psh- what?” Arin asked, sounding overly offended. “You don’t believe me?”

“No, I totally do.” Dan tried his best to hold in his giggling. “But, uh, you’d really do that for me?”

“Of course!” Arin yelled angrily, tossing the wiimote to the side. “Sorry- of course I would. Do you realize how long I’ve been wanting to get on top of you and make you feel good? My asshole _clenches_ when I think about it.”

By that point Dan had already begun leaning to the side, unable to contain his laughter. “Dude, stop!”

“Next time,” Arin announced, writing down the timestamp, “I give Dan a massage. And maybe jack him off a little.”

A solid minute passed before Danny was able to regain his breath enough to speak. “You don’t have to do that. I can deal.”

“No, this is going to happen.” Arin got off the couch and gestured for Dan to roll over. “Lay on your stomach.”

Dan did so, groaning at the new ache in his back. “Maybe I really am getting old.”

“Nah, dude. You’re just stressed.” Arin climbed onto him and straddled Dan’s (nonexistent) ass. “I’m not putting too much weight on you, am I?”

“You’re good,” Dan said. He crossed his arms in front of himself and rested his chin on them. “So do you need me to tell you what to do? Or are you just gonna wing it and see how it goes?”

Arin snorted. “You know me, Dan.”

“That’s not an ans- _oh_!”

Those hands of Arin’s must’ve been magical, because Dan could feel the knots in his back already melting away.

“See?” Arin asked smugly. “I told you I could do it.”

“I never doubted you,” Dan managed to say despite his mind becoming muddled. “But fuck, man, you never said you were this good!”

“Well, you never asked.”

Arin began the massage again, hands slowly pressing in and easing Dan’s built-up stress. Dan started out telling him where to go and what to do, but eventually his tongue went _kaput_ , leaving him to only moan his approval.

“I’ll have to do this for you more often,” Arin teased.

Dan wholeheartedly agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by maghoul: "Arin giving Dan a massage? Ty if u do this!"


	14. In Which Danny Sexbang Blows Ninja Brian

Danny really wanted Ninja Brian to blow him. Not in a joking kind of way, either. Full on mouth-to-dick action. But Danny didn’t like him. Just the idea.

Now how could he say that without getting stabbed in the face?

He walked into the kitchen, where Ninja Brian silently worked to on the mixture for blueberry muffins. “Hey, Brian,” he said in a totally casual tone and glanced at Brian’s work. The batter looked delicious. “If I put some of that on my dick, would you suck it?”

Ninja Brian flipped him off.

 _Well, then_. Danny would have to try something else.

He sidled up to Brian’s side and draped an arm across his shoulders. For some reason the closeness caused butterflies in his stomach. He opened his mouth to say something, but he choked on his words. Holy shit, were his palms sweating?

No, no, _no_. He didn’t like Brian. Not romantically. He just lusted after him.

But really, wasn’t that the same thing? What the hell even was romance any besides sex with extra kissing and pillow talk?

Brian shrugged the arm off his shoulders and glared at him once more. The look in his eyes definitely read, “ _What the fuck are you doing?”_

There was only one thing Danny felt confident in no matter what- and that was sex. He sunk to his knees, eyes locked with Brian, and licked his lips. “I wanna S your D. That okay?”

Much to his relief, Ninja Brian nodded. It was slow, and accompanied by a narrow-eyed stare, but it was there.

Danny breathed out a sigh of relief, then lowered his gaze to Ninja Brian’s crotch. Wow, from that level he could tell that there was definitely something packed in there. “Got a big present for me, Bri?” he purred.

A hand moved to his hair, grabbing tightly, almost pulling.

“No need to be gentle,” Danny said, pulling Brian’s hardening cock out of his pants. “I can take it.”

A sharp tug signalled him to hurry up.

“Fuck,” Danny moaned, then took Brian into his mouth in one go. He used every trick in the book, relishing the weight and taste of Brian on his tongue. If he listened closely, he could hear soft pants and groans, signs of how well he was doing.

When Danny deepthroated him like a champ, Brian unravelled, having to lean back against the counter to keep himself up. That’s when his hips started moving, fucking Danny’s face relentlessly.

Meanwhile, Danny was on cloud nine. The urge to touch himself, hear his own moans of Brian’s name, spread through him like wildfire. But he didn’t give in, not until Brian came and treated him to salty deliciousness.

No doubt his lips were red and bruised from all the abuse. But he liked the feeling. And he liked _Brian_.

He was pulled to his feet, and Brian wordlessly reached down to tease his erection through his spandex. That’s how Danny knew his feelings were returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by a Dear Anon: "Woah, I love your in-universe nsp stuff! If fic requests are still open, could you do some nsp smut? Maybe them realizing that they like each other?"


	15. In Which Danny Just Wants to Love on Dan

Danny stared down his reflection. There was only ten or so minutes left before the show, and he had to get himself into the right mindset. Impress the people. Seduce them. Blow their goddamn minds. He gave his best seductive grin, hoping to see how well it worked.

His reflection only raised an eyebrow at him.

“Um?”

“Oh, sorry.” Danny winked. “You’re just so good looking, I thought I was staring into a mirror.”

Dan snorted and rolled his eyes. “Jesus, dude. Are you serious right now?”

“No,” Danny said after some awkward laughter. “But if you want, I can use what little time we have left to give you some _serious_ D action.  And by D, I mean-”

“I know what you mean,” Dan interrupted, failing to hide his amusement. “And you can wait for that.”

Danny pouted. “But I _can’t_ , babe,” he whined. “I won’t perform my best unless I get a little action beforehand. It really helps! Studies prove it!”

“Oh really?” The playful scrutiny on Dan’s face was something Danny needed to get used to seeing. “And it’s totally not a study that you and Ninja Brian did, right?”

“Yes!” Danny said proudly. Then his eyebrows furrowed together as he thought about what Dan had said. “Wait, no. I mean- fuck!” He crossed his arms and glowered. “That’s unfair.”

Dan mumbled something under his breath, hopefully not something bad, and directed his attention to his phone. He seemed so relaxed. Like everything was alright. Not shaky, bleary-eyed, pale, zoned-out. Just chill. All thanks to Danny taking some of the NSP workload off him.

While Dan was distracted, Danny snuck up behind and pulled him into a front-to-back hug. And lucky for him, he was at the perfect height to pepper affection along his neck.

“Being all lovey-dovey isn’t going to get you laid,” Dan said, although he did let out a little sigh that made Danny think otherwise.

“You can’t expect me to contain _all_ the lovin’ I have to offer,” Danny countered. “You’re just too handsome for me to keep my hands off.”

“Believe me, I know. Just don’t get a boner. There’s no way you’d be able to get rid of it in time.”

Danny perked up and let a smile creep onto his face. “Is that a challenge?”

“It’s not.”

That little rejection didn’t bother him. He had other things on his mind.

“You know I love you, right?” he asked after a moment. “I’m totally cool with doing not sexy stuff with you.” To emphasize his point, he held onto Dan just a little tighter. “Just cuddling. It might as well be sex, only with our clothes on. And no movement. No sweet, sweet orgasm, either. So without all the good stuff.”

Dan turned around without warning and kissed him. “Yeah, I know. Now get your ass out on stage. You’re almost late.”

Danny batted his lashes at him. “Is there a chance for a quick handy?”

“No.”

“Yeah, didn’t think so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by a Dear Anon: "Would you write a avibang fic on how Danny wants to kiss Dan backstage at a gig or do fluff stuff"


	16. In Which Ross Gets Some Much Needed Comfort from Dan

There was no way Ross could’ve felt any worse than he did at that exact moment. He had left his computer for a moment, _one single moment_ , and came back to find that all his hard work was corrupted. Gone. Like he never even spent the hours he had hunched over his desk with an aching back and bruised hands.

Anger boiled within him. He needed to sleep. Get away from reality for a little while and clear everything out, start anew so he can go about fixing everything with a new mindset.

No one stopped him as he grabbed a pillow, his designated napping pillow, and flopped onto the couch. The pillow was taken hostage by his arms, squeezed so very tightly, until his eyelids grew heavy.

There was only blissful darkness for what seemed like an eternity. If he listened closely, he could hear the slight bustle of the office around him, but he didn’t care for that.

Not until someone began calling his name.

Ross tried ignoring it, turning over on his side and letting out a muffled _go away_ before dozing once more. But the voice was persistent, and he had to wake up as soon as a hand started shaking his shoulder.

Blearily, Ross sat up and blinked several times. “What?”

Dan looked down at him, amusement twinkling in his eyes. “You’ve been asleep for, like, three hours, man. Thought you’d want a wake-up call.”

A jolt went through Ross’s heart. “Three hours!? Damn it!”

Dan watched him carefully, with a small frown. “Um, something wrong?”

Ross clenched his fists. “I just… I dunno, I slept too long. Sorry.”

He stood up to get back to his desk and salvage the scraps of the working day, but Dan had taken a seat and decided that could wait. With only one arm he managed to pull Ross right onto his lap and keep him pinned there.

“Looks like you need to vent,” Dan said. “Sleeping it all away can’t be healthy for you. So lay it on me, baby doll. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Dan,” Ross warned, trying to squirm his way out of his iron-like hold, “I have to work.”

“That can wait.”

It was a standstill for several long moments. Ross could feel Dan’s calm nature, the steady beating of his heart, the slow breaths. Some of that got into him.

“Well,” he said, turning so that he could rest his head on Dan’s shoulder. “My computer crapped out. And I lost hours of animation.”

Dan winced. “Jeez, I’m sorry.”

A deep sigh escaped Ross. “Don’t be. It’s my fault. I should’ve saved or something.”

Nothing more was said. As the silence consumed them, Dan’s long fingers began to toy with Ross’s hair, twisting it around in a surprisingly soothing way. He even began to hum, so softly that it almost couldn’t be heard. Ross almost succumbed to sleep again, but he managed to fight it. He had a better way of coping now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for legendofgrump, some fluffy rubberbang to brighten their day.


End file.
